07 September 2010

Twenty years older or vacational hazards part two….

False marketing!

My lovely blogtwin Lili asked me how many years I lost exactly, thinking about going to the Emerald pond and give it a try herself. Well dear Lili and other readers the only thing I lost or nearly lost was my life. Or to be a little less dramatic – I could be swimming around in it still. Guess I have to start from the beginning. You all know that we went to the Emerald pond with hopes of miraculously getting younger. Getting there means driving for ever and then walking for ever through a hot and damp rain forrest. No miracles there – you still have to do the long trek on foot. Fairy wings don’t suddenly appear on your back, no Harry Potter floo powder or any other means of swift transportation. No bibidi bobidi boo. You walk!

When you reach the pond you are so hot and SO longing for a swim that with no hesitation you throw of your clothes and jump in. This is where the problems start. There is absolutely NO dignified way of getting out of the damn thing. The pond is surrounded by straight and extremely slippery cliffs and no stairs what so ever. Hey, what ever happened to a warning sign? Or maybe the wooden sign in Thai actually said This is a natural pond dudes and no freaking swimming pool! Have you seen a stranded whale? Put a bikini on it and there you have me!

It took me forever to get out of it. My poor sister tried to help me from the water but my brother in law who climbed out of it much easier than me stood safely by the pond taking photographs of the whole whale rescuing expedition. Who needs enemies with friends like that I ask you?

When I was lying flat on my belly halfway in and halfway out I felt like 47 going on 70 and I swear my hair was getting more grey by the minute… As you can all well understand I didn’t go in again. Wouldn’t even do it at gunpoint. Quite frankly it was an experience that made Botox feel strangely appealing.

And I still have a gigantic bruise on my thigh…. They heal more slowly with old age you know…..

Take care


LiLi M. said...

Hahahaha!!!! Oh I love this story! You are such a great story teller!

Jenny at Red House said...

Your post really made me laugh and reminded me of when I got stuck on a water slide because there was no water running down, in fact I wore a hole in my swimsuit trying to discreetly shimmy down! jennyx